Make your money with a suit and tie
Make your money with true denial
Make your money expert advice
If you can wing it
Make your money with a power ply
Make your money with a buy out bribe
Make it lie
As long as you mean it
I'm not king of comedy
Grease the pig, give a squeeze
Squeeze me
Make your money with exploitation
Make it holy illumination
Say a prayer at every station
Don't forget to ask for mercy
Make your money with a pretty face
Make it easy with product placement
Make it charged with controversy
I'm straight, I'm queer, I'm bi
I'm not king of comedy
I'm not your magazine
I'm not your television
Make your money, make it rich
Make it young and make it quick
Make your money on the jukebox, baby
Let's pick up sticks
Make your enemies, make your moves
Make your critics stumble through
Make it smart and make it schmooze
Make it look easy
I'm not king of comedy
I'm not your magazine
I'm not your television
I'm not your movie screen
I'm not commodity (all together now)
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity