You hadn't seen your father in such a long time
He died in the arms of his lover, how dare he
Your mother never left the house, she never married anyone else
You took it upon yourself to console her
You reminded her so much of your father
So you were banished and you wonder
Why you're so hypersensitive and why
You can't trust anyone but us
But then, how can I begin to forgive her
So many years under bridges with dirty water
She was foolish and selfish
And cowardly if you asked me
I don't know where to begin in all of
My 50 odd years
I have been silently suffering and adapting
Perpetuating and enduring
Who are you, younger generation to tell me
That I have unresolved problems
Not many examples of fruits of this type
Of excruciating labor
How can you just throw words around
Like grieve and heal and mourn
I feel fine, we may not have been born
As awake as you were
It was much harder in those days
We had paper routes uphill both ways
We went from school to a job to a wife
To instant parenthood
I walked into his office, I felt
So self-conscious on the couch
He was sitting down across from me
He was writing down his hypothesis, I don't know
I've got a loving supportive wife
Who doesn't know how involved she should get
You say his interjecting was him
Just calling me on my shit?
Just the other day my sweet daughter
I was driving past 203
I walked up the stairs in my mind's eye
I remember how they would creak loudly
She was only responsive with a drink
He was only responsive by photo
I was only trying to be
The best big brother I could
I've walked, sometimes confused
Sometimes ready to crack open wide
Sometimes, indignant, sometimes, raw
Can you imagine I pay him
75 dollars an hour sometimes
It feels like highway robbery
And sometimes, it's peanuts
I wish it could last a couple more hours
So here we both are
Battling similar demons, not coincidentally
You see, in getting beyond knowing it solely
Intellectually, you're not relinquishing your majestry
You are wise, you are warm
You are courageous, you are big
And I love you more now
Than I ever have in my whole life
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